Mean Girls

So, a couple of months ago one of my friends was asked to substitute-teach in Relief Society. She was 8.5 months pregnant and bloated, so none of her clothes, even her maternity clothes, were fitting very well. But she tried her best to look nice, and she felt good about how her lesson went.

So, she was somewhat surprised to see in her mailbox, later that week, a letter from the Young Women's president. It was not a thank-you note. Instead, she called my friend on the carpet for her inappropriate dress on the day of her lesson, specifically the way her cleavage had been visible when she bent over, and the way the hem of her garment bottom was visible through the front slit of her skirt when she sat down without her knees firmly together. She excoriated my friend for setting a bad example for the Young Women in the ward.

When my friend related this story to me, I was livid (even called the YW pres, whom I have not met, a "self-righteous sanctimonious bitch"). Where do people like this get off? What made her think sending that letter was a good idea? What made her think that it would accomplish anything other than making my friend feel bad? My guess is she is so caught up in her rigid set of ideas about what is and what's not appropriate that she has completely lost her grasp on common sense.

So I know this kind of thing happens a lot with Mormons, particularly Mormon women. And while this woman's mailed letter was an extreme example, I'm sure those of you of Mormon-ish background can think of other, more passive-aggressive ways she might have accomplished the same end, even doing it in front of others for the added Rameumptom ("look how righteous I am") benefit. You all are clever--put them in the comments field. Here's one: "When my daughter was pregnant, she found these great little camisoles to wear under low-necked shirts. I'll ask her where she got them for you." Are other (conservative) religions equally prone to sanctimony?